Sheesh.. 5 posts in 1 day... Compulsive blogger @ work.. no wonder I was late for AS this afternoon @ 12 and I'm so sure I'm gonna be late for my dinner appointment @ 730.. Toodles.. till maybe 11 tonight?

Try listening to Corrinne May. She's a local based in Canada and her songs are nice!!! Smooth vocals, soothing songs (yeah.. I know I'm a sucker for slow songs) but ya...

Try streaming her music from www.corrinnemay.com!

Ok.. enough of the depressing part.. Going for dinner soon... and I've just spent the afternoon playing games... I'm sort of addicted to thsoe 'walk-through games....

If you are interested, try looking for them at www.nordinho.com. They post up different games there. Basically, these games use flash or sth and you just have to click here and there to escape from rooms or find treasures of stuff like that.. Can be rather addictive.

I shall resolve to not be too stressed out.. I think it is just the cumulation of rushing so many things the past week... I need time to recuperate before we start again... I just wish I wasn't so consumed by grades...

Been thinking a lot and talking to people these 2 days... I feel as though I'm being eaten alive by the rat race... I think it is bad... but I really admit that I'm not just happy with a 'B' grade nowadays... Yeah.. overachiever.. I hear some of you mumble.. then again... over inflation of grades in SMU?

Very cynical view of myself and of life nowadays... I mean I like school and stuff.. but I get scared of myself whenever I try to set sky high expectations for myself- sth I never did until last year...

I need to get a grip of myself before I spiral out of control. It's like I think a lot.. yet at the same time, I dun work hard enough during term... I just panic and do last min work, hoping that sth good will come out of it and then I whine and worry and panic after that. Kinda ironic...

I just need to organise my thoughts.. Dun worry about me.. I'm fine.. I just need to get this off... If not I'll just keep thinking of it...

I've been doing so much work (papers, presentation) on my laptop the past week that I don't even know what to do when I don't have any work tonight.

Yesterday marked my last presentaton of the term.. I felt that it fell short of a lot of stuff. Shucks lar... It's like thoughts and images keep playing in my head and I can't help but kept thinking of ways that it could have been better. It's like walking away from sth that you know you can do much better.

Ok. I'm done feeling sorry and sad and regretful. Nothing I think, say or do will turn back time. So I shall not be too harsh on myself. Plus it is not only an individual effort... Speaking of which, I have given up 2 points for class participation for social psych class because I was too tired to do anything about it...

I'm not exactly feeling euphoric now though I've officially ended lessons (though I still have one more make up class in 45 min). I think it is cause I'm too tired... Actually... I think if we ended on a high note, I'll be happier...

Slept before 12 yesterday... That's like how freaking early... But at the same time... was slammed left and right by my sister for sleeping at 5 am.. She apparently thinks I'm nuts... and actually, I think so too...

To sum up: Yesterday was one of day of pros and cons. At then end, I'm feeling tired, yet happy but not satisfied..

Hmmm... now for some quiet time, recuperation, and then intensive mugging... 2 more weeks to the end of the term. I should pay a visit to the library soon.. I need to read books...

I'm supposed to be in sch in 45 mins.. I'm still sitting here blogging and hoping that my laptop battery doesn't run out before I finish... (6% left...)

So many thoughts to blog. I kinda feel immense freedom knowing that I still have 1 week to study...

Oh.. and Happy April Fools Day!!!

Today has been a mixed day... My body was on shutdown this morning.. couldn't wake up... so didn't manage to go to Far East Flora to get cheaper rose... Then ar.. took a freaking cab whereby the stupid driver thought SMU was SIM... Sigheth... so paid more for the cab than necessary... I had to tkae a cab cause I woke up late see... Mwahahaha...

But then got back my psych presentation score.. happy!!! good to see the recognition for pia-ing so hard for the presentation. Last presentation of the term later... Hmmmm... Hope it'll be good....

Lalala... I usually detest looking at 'Times New Roman' font but after looking at looking at it for 2 of my paper the whole of last night... I seem to be rather immune to it.. Was taking notes when I realise I haven't changed my fonts yet...

Mean exposure effect?

boogly eyed after doing the paper till 5... I'm sitting in class now after 3 hours of (barely there) sleep... 2 parts took 5 hours... After like 3 am, my mind was saturated and I was just typing and re-typing a sentence over and over again... Bah! Give me the strength to survive today...

Been cabbing a lot these 2 days... But I don't care... If I don't get enough sleep, I need to make it up to my body in other ways... Ok.. shall pay attention...

Super funny... the prof is asking a question.. and the class is just throwing out random answers. LIke no one can catch what he is asking probably because people don't pay attention?

couldn't resist sneaking in a post now... I;ve never felt so pressed for time, yet so relaxed at the same time... It's 12.24 am.. I have an 830am class tmr where I amd supposed to hand up a paper and I'm still halfway through it... Well done Gillian... I just hope I can pull it off like I said in the previous post. Afterall, it is all about democracy, sth which is equivelant to Greek in my opinion. Interesting no doubt but worried about the applications part...

Just finished my AS individual assignment.. Shucks.. i just can't seem to sit still in front of my laptop and do work.. I'll e doing other stuff.. but I would say it is a not bad piece of work (ok.. I'm just trying to console myself)

Anyway, I think it is time to morph back to democracy mode, Nigeria and Tunisia, here I come.. According to my essay outline, I technically have 2 more parts to write - economic development and description of situation in Tunisia. After that, I'm about done... MWahahaha... I'll keep you posted on the status..

Do I mention that I am currently chatting on MSN? oh bother...

The last week of school is unravelling... fast... and I still have a lot of stuff hot on my heels... AS individual assignment and democracy paper both due tmr.. both half done... BGS presentation on Thursday... thrashing out tmr after the submissions of my papers... A tight dateline but I'm sure I can do it... Just hope my papers sound decent enough to get me a decent grade...

I've been whining incessently about a certain project group I have... yet today, when I was meeting, I find that as long as you don't take things too personal, sometimes it can be fun too... Or at times, you can just choose to ignore certain elements.. instead of branding the group as a single entity... and have fun with the rest...

If others want to leave early, fine...
if others decide to come late, fine too...
If others sudddenly realise there is another meeting waiting... just ignore them...
Ditto for those who don't seem to be doing much...

Just work with those who are willing to work, crap with those who want to crap... and it'll be nice... I should learn not to bring my prejudices in for meetings... instead, leave them outside and you can always pick it up again after the meeting... Brilliant huh? So when I next whine about any project groups I have, kindly direct me back to this post...

Been trying to increase my threshold for staying awake... Because I just do too irrelavent things like reading a storybook 2 nights before my papers are due... And I seem to be succeeding... I should not to abuse my body.. but I do get a kick out of it. Looking forward to tmr so I can just go and collapse on my bed... Ditto to Thursday where I can 'celebrate' my last presentation of the term...

This term is ending soon... Doesn't feel like 13 weeks have passed... After this week, the next thing on my agenda - mugging... After that.. so many things to do...

1) Get a job
2) Learn driving
3) Hong Kong anyone?
4) Prepare for camps
5) Eh.. windsurfing
6) Slack
7) Slack
8) Slack

Dreams...

Nothing but... fleeting thoughts
Nothing but... manifestation of activities in the day
Nothing but... an imagination
Nothing but... the effects of an overworked mind
Nothing but... an escape
Nothing but... sweet...

Interesting... I still see ppl online at this weird hour. Seems like I'm not the only night owl here... The democracy paper is getting on track. But I kinda wish I could have started on it earlier.. There is just so much to explore.. so much to read... and I love getting lost in literature and words... (and it is definitely more interesting than when I did my research for Napster for Plural Perspectives). But it's doing great.. got my structure out, trying to fill in the blanks now... Constantly on a search engine...

Sigheth.. always too late for regrets... but I think the thing about social sciences is that it makes you ponder and think... Not just a straight in the face thing... But I'm really to stoned to think now...

There's still AS individual.. Darn!!! I shall squeeze time... Sometimes, it's like trying to squeeze water from a rock... If only I wasn't such a procrastinator...

Hmmm... had project meeting today... Felt that my group wasn't as bad as I portray them to be.. Mwahahaha... I mean the few hours spent with them was rather enjoyable... Pity is that we can't click.. I dunno.. it's just different.. You can tell that there is some sort of a 'invisible wall' between us... Not as straight forward.. it is more task oriented.. I think it is kinda a pity cause they are all nice ppl...

I think you won't know how much you can act like someone or realise how one's actions can be so reasonable until you reflect on it.. It's like I got pissed off by someone's attitude and actions at the last meeting.. but today, I caught myself doing sth which I felt was similar in nature.

What happened was that we were debating whether I should be presenting or not. I didn't exactly mind not presenting but at the same time, I was kinda reluctant to give it up. But my part wasn't important. More of like speaking for the sake of speaking. So we were just there stoning, and I was like 'What do you all think'... I mean I didn't tell them that I wanted to do it (since I wasn't that sure) but I didn't say that I don't want to do it either...

I should stop passing judgement on others so quickly... If not I'll feel bad when they turn out nicer than it seems...

Finally got started on my democracy paper.. I just hope I have enough space to squeeze everything I want inside... Should finish by tonight... (mwahahhaa... ie: 3 am or sth).

And I'm so proud of my video! (Did some tweaking after feedback in today's meeting) Yes! it has been in my last 2 entries.. but hey.. I toiled hard for it.. so I guess I earned the bragging rights! It's like when you've done sth great ,you just wanna show it to the whole world and bask in their compliments... Mwahahaha... I sound rather egoistic! This video is really a breakthrough for me... Have never attempted sth so complex? I mean the concept is simple and I'm really using an idiot proof programme... but I like the way everything gels together... searching for clips, creating my own clips... Mwahahaha... *beams with pride*!

At the same time, I sometimes wonder if it is worth it... I mean there is no difference between having a video and not having one. I mean those points can always be covered in the presentation. And I could have done it much simpler - just a slide show of pictures. Then again, I like experimenting with programmes. So I guess the video is not that important. Instead, it is what I have learnt from building it...

Oh ya... had a nice Good Friday... stuffed myself silly with food... and kinda slacked the whole day away... just talking, crapping. It's like relieving all the stress that have been building up the past few weeks. My friends never fail to brighten up my day and make me less cynical and feel less stress whenever I'm with them and after I've spent time with them.

And I learnt a lesson.. when your body suffers from a lack of sleep, do not expect it to respond on command... although I slept relatively early last night (at 1 cause i figured even if I have to wake up 10.30 am, I would get 10 hours of sleep which was a lot compared to 5 hrs...). But my brain decided to wake up only at 11.50am this morning... which rendered me late for my meeting in school at 12! I should learn not to torture my body so much... Which means earlier nights for me... which means I better start doing my democracy paper now...

Hmmm.. this entry is disjointed.. so many points in one entry... Whatever... I am always incoherent...

Gillian is on a high now and feeling accomplished!!! 2 nights spent building a video from scratch... I love Windows Movie maker (though it hung on me like 5 times tonight!) But it is finally done... Final product will be screened between 330 and 645 in Biz Lvl 1 CR 2 next thurs.. Stay tuned!!! I'm so proud of myself!!!

tomorrow will be a brand new and better day.. I WILL (must, die die also can) finish my democracy paper by tomorrow!!! and I'm so sure I can do it!!!

I have this uncanny thing for staying up late when I shouldn't... But the consequence of too much slacking is that work is piling up like crazy... and it's starting to take a toll on me... Doing 2 videos for my presentation next week... Still halfway thru the 1st one... Another thing is my democracy paper... been putting it off for way too long already.. I better get it done soon.. And there;s still AS individual Assignment... Yeah.. doesn't sound like a lot.. but when you meet a procrastinator like me, I can just rot one who day away or sth.. without feeling guilty... or I'll try to stay up and may end up unproductive...

Sheesh! It's 3.29 liaoz... I need to be in sch by *eeps!* 1015 tmr... Bah!!! Good Night world...

I'm feeling frustrated and overwhelmed... not exactly pissed.. just irritated... I see a cycle... I get stressed up when my datelines are approaching... when I have tons to do... Fine.. I'm a procrastinator...

I'm sick of trying to be the middleman for my project.. It sucks lar... 4 persons trying to edit the final draft of a report... Differing views and I dunno why but I'm chatting to the other 3 in 3 diff MSN windows... So I have a zillion copies of the final report with a few changes here and there in my laptop. And it really doesn't help tt there is sth wrong with my MSN... sometimes, I dun get the msg tt ppl try to send me... i dunno if there is any info lost or not... cause if u r chatting to a person, they dun go silent for like 10 mins or sth... What's wrong with my MSN??? We should have just met! Bah!

I usually don't post lyrics but I like this song...

童话 by 光良

忘了有多久, 再没听到你
对我说你最爱的故事
我想了很久, 我开始慌了
是不是我又做错了什么

你哭着对我说, 童话里都是骗人的
我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂, 从你说爱我以后
我的天空星星都亮了

我愿变成童话里, 你爱的那个天使
张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信, 相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局

我要变成童话里, 你爱的那个天使
张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信, 相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局

我会变成童话里, 你爱的那个天使
张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信, 相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局
一起写我们的结局

You can go listen to the song by searching www.baidu.com.

I think I set quite high expectations... especially if it is sth I am interested in... But I feel like I can get too strong headed when I don't get what I want or what I have in mind... and I feel guilty after that. Hmmm... At the same time, I refuse to compromise on what I feel would like add value. It can be sth as simple as the way the slides look or even the type of animation for instance. Yes... I do go into the details which has its pros and cons.

Oh well... just some after thoughts after a presentation today... I feel like I've came on a bit too strong to get it going.. Makes it a cause and effect thing... I appear to want things done my way because others have no opinion. When I have a direction, others are afraid to voice out and I end up doing things my way because others don't know what I have in mind exactly.

And the fact that it is nth major... just things like alignment and stuff... Sheesh.. I didn't know I'm such a detail freak. I mean I usually am the one who overlooks the details. I think I end up stressing myself too much over sth minor or going all out to correct it. I don't feel that it is necessarily a good thing cause other ppl in the grp may find that I don't trust them or want to claim credit or sth. Or maybe they just feel that they look bad. and i'm really sorry if I have evoked those feelings. It is not exactly about them, but more of me. But it is hard to communicate this idea across...

Because I know what I want, I impose my ideas on others. I mean I realise that when you are with people who are 随便 (in the sense they do not have a direction and would just go with the flow), one has to get the thing moving or it will just stop there... But when is doing a bit more too much? It's like a slippery slope argument - where is the boundary?

Overtime, I realise I judge people very quickly... be it good or bad... but if you prove yourself to me, I'll change my mind... and I would actually respect you for that. I admit sometimes, hastily judging someone would cause a lot of problems... Why this sudden thought? Well, changed my opinion of some people for a particular project... I like it when ppl at least try... compared to others where things don't go thru their thick skin...

MY MSN IS SCREWED!!!

Bah!!! It is selective what message I can send out and what message I can receive.
It disconnects me when I'm in the midst of chatting.
I can't reconnect after that.
If I can, the whole world appears offline thought i'm so sure there are people online.
Screwed!

HELP!!! Any way to cure it??? Or maybe it is my freaking internet connection... Fwah!!! It disconnects halfway when I'm using... Like weak signal. I got this nagging feeling that someone may be tapping it... But i dunno how to set password... My cable is not tt fast kaez.. plus it supports 2 desktops... and 1 laptop... and one of the desktop is like perpatually online playing DOTA or sth... (eh.. it's a game). Help!!!

I have a short fuse when I dun get enough sleep.. and I don't constitute 5 hours as enough... I got irritated by some parents at the open house who asked so much about admissions, trying to improve the kid's chance of getting that interview... Yeah.. she was that direct... I was thinking, if the kid already got the results, there is nth much that can be done!!! I so sure I can memorise the whole Bachelor of Social Science Curriculum lar... Everyone asks me that!!! I would rather talk about student life or sth lar... But I din get a lot of the 'What job prospects are there' questions... Hahaha... Oh.. I saw a guy who I think is my choir junior.. Eh.. I actually talked him and found him familiar but I just didn't recall anything about him... until another vj girl remembered him.

I'm super tired.. Imagine standing for eh.. 5 to 6 hours??? But there are also nice ppl to talk to... So it wasn't so bad I guess... I'm just whining... It's a memorable event... But holding it at Raffles city, I felt that there wasn't a chance to showcase the student life... More of an uppity affair... Looks very pro though... Hahaha...

Oh.. and I realise I can see my house from the 69th floor od Equinox! hahaha.. Ok.. cheap Thrill.. I admit.

Gillian's battery is running low.. Needs to recharge soon... But there's a million and 1 thing left.. May my presentation go well tmr... ;)

*note: Edited the frist para @ 2.40 liaoz...*

I don't know why I'm still awake at this hour... But this has set me thinking for these 2 days...

Went for a feedback session yesterday... I see a whole new host of opportunities for a Social Science graduate... going into research, working on a project basis with reknowned and prestigious institutions, applying into graduate school, going the academic path. Yet... I can't help but wonder, is this possible? I mean perhaps it has to do with the fact that I was brought up in a sheltered (and some may even say pampered) environment. Protective parents, I get what I want... I just wonder... are the above achievable? For a Singaporean? In addition, this is not a tried and tested route? Though I want to be adventurous... but the question is can I?

Can I leave behind everything and pursue a path which I'm sure would lead me overseas? I love the thought... And I was fine with it, and for a period of time, thinking that I'll just stay overseas to work after getting my masters... but now, we are looking at (possibly) a phD... a very far thought that I'm scared to entertain.

Also, there is a lot more at stake here... The life sounds good I admit... but there is more to life than the tangibles... Intangible stuff like relationships, kinships, friendships, warmth, family? can I just pluck myself here and lead a life of a travelling researcher for instance?

And again... would they consider students from Singapore?

From a dream to be a child psychologist, now I find myself open to other possibilities that sounds sppealing to me... and yet, seems so unachivable... Maybe it is good to take one step at a time... Just be consistent and find out more along the way...

O shall go sleep.. tmr (eh.. later) going for open house... Panda eyes again...

Hmmm... the social psych handout is done!!! at like 5 plus last night (but stupid blogger was down so I couldn't gush over it...) but the sense of satisfaction is GREAT!!! Mwahahaha... if i daresay, I haven't seen such a pretty handout before!!!

In school tackling another project.. I feel on a roll now...

I'm over the moon!!! I can finally start my sleep late at night routine!!! cause I don't have to go to school early.. Just me and my music, in front of my laptop, chatting, working... Silence reign in the house, no temptations from the blaring of TV outside, no programmes to watch, no annoying siblings...

I feel productive in the wee hours of the night... plus I had a nice nap before idol results... so yeah... recharged and raring to go!!!

I love my social psych handout... Thanks to Meiju and Baoqin for the idea... and the 'copyright'... Hahaha... dateline: tmr 12... Shall finish it tonight...

Survived a long day... wasn't that bad... and I came home to unwind i nfront of the telly.. Mwahahaha...

I shall go recharge soon... Real soon.. probably after this... Oh.. I wanted to comment on sth which I think is rather funny... I was just looking at a forum, talking about some entertainment gossip news or sth... So there was some stuff about some stars under going plastic surgury or sth... No big deal right? You'll be surprised... The whole topic was like spammed with posts of their fans, declaring outrage at such a 'ridiculous accusation'. Most of then were like 'No! No way...' and basically, the rest were like just so similar...

My point: actually I also dunno.. but i don't get it.. I mean like it is just a comment.l.. there is no need for a barrage of fans to defned their idol cause there is nth to defend... I mean there are so many things based on hearsay nowadays...

Oh... kinda finished my part for presentation next week.. hip Hip Hooray!!! but yeah.. haven't started on democracy yet... but then guess what?? I have a one week extension!!! yay!!! *grinz* So that kind of frees up some time... More of BGS on my mind now... totally zero communication, accusations, comments thrown all over the place. But people don't seem to be doing much... I'm frankly quite irritated myself too.. though I think I may have contributed to the mess.. Mwahahaha... Shall see what happens during the meeting on Friday.. or maybe tmr if the prof gives us time...

BTW... I think that Phil Keoghan, host of The Amazing Race has such a cool job... Oh! I finally remembered what I wanted to blog about... I don't think I wanna go into HR in future.. Mwahahaha... after this talk I attended... But nvm.. back to Phil... he gets to host such an amazing programme... and I think he is quite funny... esp when you watch the behind the scenes clips... Fine.. I'm a sucker for travel programmes... but yeah...

Oh.. Ade!!! Congrats!!! you passed!!! now can drive me around!!! Mwahahaha...

ok.. shall stop my senseless gushing... Good night world...

Hahaha.. i just stoned through my whole democracy class... and Darn! He knows my name!!! and it was super obvious tt I wasn't paying attention lar... Staring at my laptop the whole time without looking up at him... But I think like 99% if not the whole class was doing sth else... Hahaha...

Now I feel kinda guilty... Bah! Cause he knows... But i dun think i'll go round making promises that I will study harder for demo to make up just in case I can't fulfil them.. Hahaha....

I bet my democracy prof is regretting that he is making us write the Constitution of Nigeria. He has been going on and on about our draft for the past one hour... and it seems that there are quite a lot of controversy.. Mwahahaha...

Been dreaming a lot lately.. I htink I ought to really not think so much.. Imagine dreaming of the scarecrow in Howl's Moving castle in some sort of a zoo where I was supposed to be having lessons or sth... Bah! I would rather fall into a deep slumber and not remember my dreams...

Oh wells.. everything has been rather mundane.... Just playing games, slacking and doing work... Mwahahaha.. Welcome to My Life!

Power

Well, just some after thoughts after reading a few chapters of 'Dangerous Alliances - Civil Society, The Media & Democratic transitions in North Africa' (Yep! I'm finally starting to do research for my paper...). Anyway, this kinda started me thinking... What is it about power? Why do people go back on their word, make empty promises and cause a whole load of suffering for others? Put it simply, if you are a good ruler, people would not want to dispose of you. So why would the ruler of Tunisia and well.. his ministers and the police force want to go after people who want to challenge him, clam down on the media, make life difficult for people and stuff? Well, there are literally spies and eavesdropper everywhere and the police and government has the ability to monitor everyone there... Kinda scary huh? and they call themselves a democracy?

Just to drive the point home, I happen to watch a bit of the 7pm show on Channel 8.. Some pugilistic show... but nevertheless, another story about power struggles... How people want to master certain skills, moves, create chaos to in short, become the 'Most Powerful Man on Earth'

Just me thinking... is it because of power, that's why people lose their mind? (as in after they rise to power, then they start plotting and stuff), or is it vice versa? (They have all those evil thoughts before they rise to power.. and thus, they try to rise to power so that they can carry out those dastardly acts!)

This is beginning to sound like psychology... Interesting huh?

Just a very 'bejewelled' Gillian rambling on and on... Nagging thoughts...

This I gotta blog... was trying to clear my phone inbox... I came across a strong of messages from my dearest sister... She was trying to tell me the results of American Idol.. Whereby the group of 16 was shrinked to the final 12... Let me reproduce these messages for you...

'Federov vonsel mario and the ryan seacrest equivalent that woman is in!'

'Kerry? a girl called kerry...' --> My personal favourite!

'nadia.. I type her name use dictionary become mafia! Haha...' Hmmm... major grammatical error.

'keanu reeves and crooked mouth' --> Eh... Constantine and Bo Bice!

'anwar! Yay! jessica? Who's that...'

'Got scott nikko and travis left.. I want nikko... Got the river deep mountain high girl (aka Amanda) ginay (aka Janey) and someone (aka Mikalah)' --> She claims she forgot that 'someone' was Mikalah... though I dunno whether it is subconscious cause she doesn't like her... Hahaha...

Lalala... I still think it is super funny... Notwithstanding major spelling and grammatical errors, she has this uncanny sense of humour... Mwahahaha...

Lalala... blogger locked me out yesterday.. so here is my delayed review of the past few days... Mwahahaha...

BGS was crap lar... my short answer became like mini essays... Hahaha... I'm still in a floaty-floaty mood... after like regurgitating everything i memorise out... (think vomitting). Mwahahaha... Serious wad... this sort of pure memory test makes me sick to some extent... And a lot of crap lar.. There are some you gotta understnad... but then.. Gimme psych any other day man... Even democracy sounds more appealing than BGS...

But then again, it is over!!! So now for the report!!!

Caught Howl's Moving Castle... Not a bad show... but I still can't catch the anime craze... Mwhahahaha.. i think it is just me... Characters a re cute lar.. but my stnad is that after a while, everyone will look the same cause there are only a few ways you can draw sth.. Hahaha.. Nice storyline.. I mean kinda typical.. but then again, I'll salute whoever or whichever movie that does not have a typical boy meets girl, boy likes girl storyline... Or a predictable twist in horror shows... Hahaha...

Lalala.... back to work... been playing too much of bejeweled...

Lalala.. I can feel my 'disease' acting up.. I lost my Prof when he was talking about Hoar (I dunno who's dat) and am surfing around and stuff... Bah!

This happens every week!!! I shall resolve to do my work.. cause I have reports and presentation due...

I wanted to say sth.. but I forgot... Bah! I think I'm addicted to blogging!!!

Bah! Man U is out of Champions League... and Chelsea managed to overturn a deficit to advance! Bah!

Thank goodness for the existence of extension of project datelines!!! Woohoo!!! at least I have more than the one week I have now for my AS group assignment... Although it will also jam up somewhere later down the line... Hahaha...

Now.. to mug BGS.... 9 Chapters!!! wish me luck for sth I don't understand at all...

Oh.. can I mention that I know there are smart people around... In fact, it can be fun to have conversation with smart people... but I dislike pompous intelligent species who think that they happen to be the best thing that appeared on Earth and that the rest of us around are just their supporting actors... These people irk me to no end! And a word of caution, when you say something, make sure that the people you are talking (ie:bitching) about don't happen to be in the vincinity by chance.

Lalala... I'm supposed to be preparing my outline for my political science paper now.. but as usual.. I'm doing what I'm NOT supposed to do... Hahaha...

Still undecided whether I should pick on an African country that is familiar (ie: Nigeria) or explre something new like Tunisia in North Africa cause I'm currently reading a book about the politicla situation there... Lack of time to do research... Sianz...

Plan for today till Thursday: Study BGS

A 5 day week this week... ok.. like some who know may say, it is a bit 自找 one also lar... But when opportunity comes a knocking, it is hard to ignore it too... Mwahahaha...

I was doing some research today... I got this feeling that with an increasing reliance on technology... we all tend to overlook a better, more efficient way of searching for information - the good ol' library...

I dunno about you.. but if you ask me to so research for a project, I'll automatically search the Internet... Google, Yahoo.. you name it... yet I was in the library today, searching their catalogue for books I need for research, something I haven't done in like eons...

Now.. to plough through the 3 books I borrowed on Africa, Democratization and Politics... wish me luck!!!

create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands


Hmmmm... a bit inaccurate.. since I haven't exactly been to the whole of Australia... and the one big patch that represents China is also wrong cause I've only been to certain parts of it (Like Hong Kong). I shall aim to have the most of the map covered by the time I am 70...

I am tired.. I wanted to sleep early.. but I was charging my laptop.. So i thought I would on it for a while... I was bored... and tired of surfing the net... but then I got entertained... and I entertained myself.. Thus, I'm still awake... but now me shall go sleep...

Good night world...

Ok.. another irrelevant, nonsensical, crappy post by a sleepy Gillian who will be off to bed soon...

Lalala... end of the week... weeks ahead looks daunting... Loads of datelines to meet... Shall buck up soon... but then again.. there's always tmr... I need a good rest... My eys and face (one side of it) has been feeling itchy... Dunno why.. Allergy? To what? lack of sleep???

Time flies.. tis week 9... This week actuallly seems non-existent, whizzing by in a flash... I have a bad feeling... like I'll drown in work soon... due to too many of my breaks...

People around me are stressing... Tests, datelines, everything's coming up over the next few weeks.. Shout out to all: Relax ya... and cheer up... Create time... I'm sure you'll be able to survive...

*Gee.. I sure hope I make use of this piece of advice for myself too!!!*

After 7 months in school.. the amount of irrelevant mails I get everyday still amazes me. It's been a long day... Back to back lessons... Bleahz... At least it rained today... Cool relief from the humid weather... Shall attempt to do some work later... at least read the social psych article... I'm feeling very nua now... Tihngs are piling up... I should stop slacking... ;)

Lalala... merrily typing away at my laptop... i'm looking for things to do online.. I just refuse to start studying!!!!

I feel that my mind is very detached from my actions... I feel incoherent.. and my hands refuses to type what I want to type... I am typing the wrong words at the wrong time.. Like 'next week' became 'last week'. Must be the 6 hours of sleep I got...

Yay!! Tonight is TV night!!! Can satisfy the TV junkie in me... Shall resolve to close my laptop in 5 to 15 mins...

ok... 12 mins gone.. I'm still stuck chatting... it looks as if it is gonna rain again...

Sheesh.. I need to prolong my attention span.. This always happens.. I'll follow my demo prof for the first hour of the lesson, have nice, coherent notes and then after that, I'll drift off... Shucks... Every single week without fail...

Like Dr. Nameless said, our attention span only lasts for 45 mins... so why is SMU trying to double it??? Bleahz!!!

I have this sudden urge to visit St Nicks soon... feeling nostalgic...

I came across an interesting blog. I think that they are doing is so cool...

Having an 'extended' break... I feel disoriented... Like I dunno what to do after lessons.. I don't even remember what I used to do on Monday afternoons before the break... I shall do work... soon...

I hate it when people in a group don't do their part for a project... I don't mind it when people push back the dateline within a reasonable frame, yet not when one makes empty promises. Please.. 1 week is definitely long enough to come up with a half page write up... I simply cannot think of any excuses...

It pisses me off because I'm the one doing the compiling... and I can't put everything together is some parts are missing. Darn... 'A's don't just fall from the sky.. you need to work for it... and at the rate I am going, I bet there is gonna be a lot of missing stuff from the first draft of the report...

On a happier note... Claire... I finally broke your Bejewelled high score... Mwahahaha... I think it not only requires skill... but luck plays quite a big element in it too... Yay!!!

Hols are drawing to an end... Well, nth on the work slate.. but plenty on the enjoyment side... I finished a book, watched a movie, sang karaoke for 9 hours, talked to a fren for a whole day, went shopping, bought a CD, applied for my campus account... and slacking away at the com. The only school related thing I did was probably my AS meeting.. at least we got our direction...

Quite an accomplishment on the slacking side I think... Now that I am recharged, I will use the past week's activities as a reminder that I should start studying, writing my paper, doing my projects and what not.. MWahahaha...

Just came across the script for this clock thingee cursor? I think it is kinda interesting...

OK man.. time to clean up... I shall do work these 2 days... and stop blogging.. I realise I have been blogging alot this pass week... It is the next best thing to doing work lar... So yeah.. I would rather write...

I was about to sleep.. until I went to check my mail... Straits Times is gonna charge a subscription fee for their online newspapers... Sigheth... Ok.. I admit I don't usually read the online version of the papers coz I have the actual one at home.. But it is good in the sense that I can just download or copy the article I want instead of cutting it out from the newspapers... And it is good to browse articles when I'm in school...

The online version doesn't even have my daily comic strips!!! Bah!

Watch Constantine today... well, my first movie since... eh.. I forgot when... I can't even remember my last movie... I gues it is sth watched during the last hols... Wow... That's long...

I felt that the show was not too bad... Keanu Reeves was spot on as the dark, brooding protagonist... and yeah... I felt that some parts of the movie was more like a horror movie than a thriller... They really know how to use shick tactics. Mwahahaha... I was like the only one who screamed in the cinema when sth shocking happened. Super malu lar...

I think the show is quite worth it... it's a good mix of humour... and lameness... and horror, gore, religious themes, suspense, twists and well, 1 main underlying theme. Well.. a hunk as a leading actor and a babe for the female protagonist... It seems to have almost everything in them... Thought provoking definitely...

Well, I shall go sleep now... Cause... I feel like it? Hahaha... Early ar... but since my room is in pitch darkness (moi sis is sleeping) except for light coming from my laptop, I think I shall not spoil my eyes any further... Plus I have to stuff those round blu-ish transparent things called contact lense into my eyes tmr morning for a cornea check up.. So I shall be considerate to my eyes and not tire them out too much...

Am doing research in the middle of the night... But I'm so wide awake... Considering that I've only been awake for 8 hours... It's like waking up at 9am in the morning and it's 5pm in the evening only. Shall try and finish my research soon... then maybe I'll not feel so guilty about not doing much this hols... and hopefully, I'll feel tired enough for a 'nap'

Got a project meeting at 1030 tmr... I need to wake up early!!!

Oh.. and Constantine!!! Yeah!! can't wait... oh.. and Hitch looks funny...

Mid Week Check

Hmmmm... let's see what I have done these few days... After spending time at the chalet over the weekend, the other things I've done is to finish a novel by Jeffrey Archer - Kane and Abel, a book on how 2 men, one rich and poor end up vying against each other because of a small misunderstanding/misinterpretation... Kinda disappointed by the ending but then again the twist was good...

Eh.. went for a whole night of karaoke... and been trying to beat Claire's score on my Bejeweled game...

This means I'm so screwed for the rest of the week... Okiez... to start work...

I just had my first meal of the day... Yeah.. ocnsidering that it started at 5... Mwahahaha.. .at this rate, I'll not be in school on Monday... but then again.. I have a project meeting at 930 tmr... So looks like I die die have to wake up early...

My throat feels tired from singing so much last night... I don't even feel like singing along to the songs when my media player is blasting them... And i think the harmonising thing is quite addictive... When I listen to a song, I'll try to harminise... But try is the key word lar... Hahahaha... Don't think I'll go for another singing session so soon..

Just got an SMS.... my meeting is pushed later... yay!!! 1 more hour of sleep... I gotta start doing work... Looking for fallacies...

Can anyone advise...

P1: Citizens above 50 will get a lower percentage of their salary put into CPF.
P2: If less money is put in CPF, those above 50 will take home more money.
P3: The amount of tax one has to pay is determined by the amount of money one takes home.
SC1: Those above 50 will have to pay high tax.
P4: Those above 50 should not be allowed to pay more tax

Conclusion: Tax rates for those above 50 should be cut.

Is the above a fallacy???

Hmmmm.. it;s almost 7,, a quick post before I go to sleep to document this momentous night...

Yeah.. you read right... I'm going to sleep... I just got home actually... about half an hour ago... was out singing KTV with frens.. wah.. after like 9 plus almost 10 hours, we STILL can't finish the songs we wanted to sing... artistes like Harlem Yu and SHE... Sigh.. I sound damn hardcore lar... Anyway, this kind of marked the first time I stayed out the whole night without having a chalet or hotel stay as an excuse... Yeah... my parents are kinda strict bout these stuff... but today, my mum said i fi really wanted, I could stay out and stuff... Hmmm... More freedom as I grow older?

Anyway, so as I was taking the first North-bound train home, I saw people or rather students i ntheir uniforms preparing for school... It was kind of weird that while I just ended my day, others are starting theirs...

For a while, I kinda wished that I was part of that routine again... Yeah... I may sound nuts.. but nvm... Like one of my fren said, I'm feeling like that cause 'I am now a visitor to the routine and not a 'regular' anymore'... Well, couldn't agree more with her...

Yawn... shall really tuen in now... or i'll only wake up when the sun sets... and I still have other stuff to do... So ya.. Night world...

I love late night bitching sessions... I can forsee my body clock going topsy turvy this hols again... But I like chatting late into the night, replying mail, reading stuff... Ok... shall turn in soon..

Good Night World...

I just realised I have no frontpage after I reformatted my laptop... Sheesh... I took 2 months to figure that out... Oh ya.. look forward to a new layout.. I'm kinda sick of my cake pic... (Yeah.. it is a cake I baked... not some donut!!!)

Hmmm... looking forward to a week of recuperation. I'm gonna sing!!! I'm going out!!! I'm going shopping!!! I don't care... I NEED retail therapy... ya.. and of course catch up on projects and stuff... Yeppies...

And DARN!!! I wasn't on the lucky winners who struck anything in the CNY Toto draw last week...

Hahaha... My mum's friends at over at my place and I'm super amused with this kid. he is 6 and he is the typical cute small boy... *screams and gushes!!!* That's what I like about life... there are always 2 sides to it.. Good and bad, Happy and sad (it rhymes!!!). I shall amuse myself with him... tatata...

I miss having an internet connection… Ok.. I was too lazy to walk to the lobby or to Macs @ East Coast in the middle of the night to surf the net… Mwahahaha…

Well, the whole thing is over and done with… No more dreaming about it days before the activity. I really feel as if a huge burden is lifted off my shoulders. I don’t want to think about the repercussions and stuff...Well, to say the thing was successful will be seriously lying through my teeth.

The last 2 days or even the past week has been an emotional roller coaster. I love the people around me who have been giving me so much support.. yet at the same time, there were also some who went back on their words and stuff like that… Oh.. I love my dad!!! Which dad would bother to drive from Novena to Geylang to pick up food, then deliver it to East Coast for his daughter? Thinking of it just makes tears well in my eyes… So any ideas what to give him for a birthday present?

I should just get a phlog… I forgot so many things I wanted to say liaoz…

I dunno lar. I think I’m too numb to feel upset… Seriously, I didn’t eat much the whole night. I just had no appetite. I don’t feel like doing anything I admit it was fun at times.. Like when we were talking to the profs or singing along to guitar or sth… but after that… you look at stark reality… The world you constructed just comes crashing down…

Have been experiencing a lot of cognitive dissonance these few days too. It’s like trying to reconcile and justify what I think and what I have done.

I shall not mince my words here… Because this is MY blog… and I want to say whatever I feel like saying here… I shall not be hypocritical or fake like the many ppl out there… I don’t think I fared very well as a leader… Serious... but don’t worry.. I’ll get over it and bounce back stronger than before… I made a few mistakes which I will definitely learn from it…

1) Never give in too much to people. Sometimes, they will just take too much advantage of you till you end up doing everything

2) If others don’t have an opinion, don’t really assume they don’t. Make sure they can commit to help you and stuff before you embark on any mission because you really need their support.

3) There is this phrase called ‘delegation of tasks’

4) Don’t think I am superwoman!

5) A wrong decision kills… Like very badly…

Oh well. End of report… I just wish things had turned out differently… But I also refuse to blame myself wholly for it. I think I put in more effort than anyone else to run this thing and it is just bad that things didn’t turn out as planned. Life will still go on. I just wished I had the chance to do it again.

Am happy once again... Feeling a lot of emotional ups and downs this week... Kinda weird.. I think I have never felt so emotional since I don't know when.. Must be the stress...

But just checked my email... There's this prof who is actively helping me promote the event... SO SUPER SWEET!!!! and he is not even a Prof from Social Science .He teaches Econs... Although response is still here and there.. but I really appreciate what he is doing...

Hmmm.. 'nuff said... I need to pia AS and pack my stuff...

So till tonight!!! Hahaha... Costa Sands has free internet 24 hrs... Expect me!!!

Ok.. I survived 2 tests... Really enjoy studying into the night... But that's not exactly the point I guess... But I'm so mentally drained, I don't even feel any emotions regarding the outing anymore... I seriously can't be bothered... i'm so sick and tired of it and I think it's all my fault... Bad planning? not being able to see the whole picture? Guilty as charged...

Bleahz... Let's cross our fingers and hope that everything will be fine... At least a turn out of 30 ppl?

Disclaimer: Relax.. I'm ok... I just needed to get it off... Don't worry so much ya...

Hmmmm... a big thank you to friends who cared... Thanks for the support... I'm fine liaoz... really... I'm sure we'll pull this off... It's just a culmination of tests, projects and stuff that got me short on my fuse that day...

Feeling at peace with myself... I don't know why also.. Though I still have more than half to study for social psychology... Not kidding really... but then so far I have been quite successful in remembering stuff covered in class... Looks like I was wrong about social psych lessons... =)

Ok.. back to the books... or else tonight really don't have to sleep liaoz...

Hmmmm... V-day came and went... Had an enjoyable dinner... Pity I didn't go sing K... even though I also didn't do much work at home.. but I guess I will feel more guilty if I had went with you guys to sing.. Mwahahaha... Oh well.. there's always the next time...

11 hours before the end of CT... presentation... wish me luck... Ok.. 1 more chapter of social psych before I retire for the night... ;)

Dearest Friends.. Kindly remind me NEVER EVER to bite off more than I can chew... and also.. to NOT EVER PROCRASTINATE again.. Oh.. how I detest that word... although I think it is more of the procrastination that drove me to the state I'm in now... 5 days of CNY hols wasted.. *Kapoot*.. down the drain.. What have I accomplished? Close to nth... a small percentage of what I ams supposed to finish and do... Bleahz...

None of the democracy stuff is going in... and I realise that social psych is not as easy as it seems... My prof notes seems sparsed which means I gotta do my own notes... I'm switching form democracy to social psych and back within hours... which can be quite traumatic...

Arghz!!! I need 48 hours a day for the next 4 days... Hmmm... on hindsight.. it may not even be enough!!! Ok... enough whining... I just needed to get this off my chest before I sleep... Lessons @ 1015 tmr... how i lurve my dad... =)

The cut on my finger has became an ugly red welt... Been super unproductive.. Took a whole afternoon to read a democracy reading... Sianz... Not working hard as usual... But then again.. I'm clearer on some stuff... Just that I need to commit them to memory... 1 more day.. Gambate!!!

Well.. obviously studying is not the only thing on my mind this weekend... but I'll just try my best to balance the 2.. .well.. I feel like I'm in sec sch, trying to cram for tests/exams the night before... Mwahahaha... Hope everything will be fine.. if not, I'll just have to write a better paper/ mug harder for finals for demo, give a better presentation/research/work harder for finals for social psych.. and err... screw CT!!! Mwahahaha...

Kinda peeved... esp when ppl dun reply your emails... which are explicitly stated URGENT!!! GaH!!! but then again... Another person just made my day... So there.. you win some, you lose some...

Hmmmm.. I like it when the words which I want to write start flowing... Gillian is a happy girl today....

I wanna watch Constantine!!!

Hmmm... it's the 3rd day of the new year.. It's 12.33 at night.. Not sleeping yet cause... I gotta mug? Mwahahaha... been slacking too much the past 2 days... See ar.. even though I'm not going visiting this year, my relatives could visit me... so what I did yesterday was to rot in front of my laptop playing games... ;) and after that, at about 1 plus plus... I went to play Mahjong after my relatives left with my siblings.. Kinda funny... As it was late and stuff, there was a game my sister had one tile less.. so obviously she couldn't game... and then the very next game, it was my turn to be missing a tile... I guess we were too tired.. but we persisted and after some breaks to minch on food, we ended one whole round at 4 plus... Hahaha...

Oh.. and reunion dinner with my extended family was nice too... I thought it would be kinda weird at first cause I'm not exactly that close to my cousins... so we were just politely sitting therewatching TV... but afterwatching The Rat Race at about 12.30am, we started playing dai dee.. and bridge... and it went on to Mahjong again... Mwahahaha... so after playing Mahjong for like 2 days, my hands are not that itchy anymore... ;) Hmmmm... but we din bet any money... It's just a social game... hahaha... Hahaha.. we left at about 1 plus... almost 2am if I'm not wrong...

Hmmm.. so many updates... The Amazing Race ended it's run yesterday... I didn't want Freddy and Kendra to win... but then again.. it's all about luck... Oh well.. another month to the next season.. Yippee!!! well.. Survivor is back... and I have Desperate Housewifes and American Idol to watch currently...

Oh well.. time to start digesting some democracy... Good Night world...
Have sweet dreams.. and a Happy New year!!!

Chinese New Year is here... 祝各位：新年快乐， 心想事成， 身体健康， 万事如意， 财源滚滚， 事事顺利。。。

Yeppies!!! Time to pig out... Pineapple tarts, Bak Kwa... Love Letters... Kui Lapis!! Moi favourite... Oh.. and mixed nuts... Mandarin oranges included...

Hmmm.. realise I don't have like sweets or cookies at home... Mwahahaha... but then again, I will spend a quiet new year at home. Had reunion dinner last night... going for another one later... Pigging out lar...

But it's nice having reunion dinner... Steam boat.. with loads of food... and then bantering at the table. It's nice that we sit down as a family to eat... Felt that I haven't done it for a long time.. Especially since I was out late the last few nights.. Hahaha... Coupled with a 'high' sister... It was funny...

In class now... stoned... I got a miserable blog.. I realise I have been complaining in my last few entries... Hahaha... But I believe life has it's ups and downs... You'll be happy on some days, miserable on others, stressed on some and hyper on next... I thik it is a cycle... Though I feel that when happy things happen to me, I tend not to blog it.. but when I'm upset, my blog becomes an outlet...

I think we should all look at happier stuff and blog about them... ;)

It's been a long day... I shall happily say that my CT project is finishe.d. Now for the presentation.. Well, the can's not really done.. but we've tried our best... Hahaha... Anyway, I think it is quite a feat when you imagine 4 girls trying to do such mechanical stuff.. and plus majority of the groups was from arts stream.. Ok. No offence to Arts people here... Even me with my science stuff can't do much about the calculations.. It's more of trying to 'see' it!!!

Finally, everything about the outing is kind of settled.. Really glad for the people who have been around supporting me... and of course to others who have been patiently listening to my whining... Now awaiting the proposal.. ;)

Thinking whether I should go out for dinner on V-day... a lot of stuff to do leh.. but then again... it's kind of miserable to spend V-day alone... not that I have another half to spend it with... but at least with my frens.. It'll be nice...

I feel off my bike today... eh... like my 1st time... Maybe not fall... I was turning... or as Siyi said, swerving right when this guy came chrging towards me on his bike at top speed. I shall conclude that he is trying to show off... Anyway... he kind of tumbled and rolled forward.. while I was trying hard to balance myself... Ok.. in the end he was unhurt, and I end up with 2 very nice, deep-looking cuts... GreAt!~!~ It's kinda gross to look at it lar... it's like the skin got tore apart like 2mm maybe... but i dun thin kit is that deep.. shall apply some antoseptic later... *ouch!* it will hurt later when I bathe... :(

Yeah.. what pissed me off was that he put the blame all on me... and he was more concerned about some stupid thing at the front of his bike that costs 200 freaking bucks (maybe for him to show off) instead of me!!! IdI@T! ok.. I just like the '@' sign there... Luckily I didn't scrap my knees..

word of caution: don't go cycling when you are sleepy.. I had trouble trying to peddle my bike today... my legs are aching... Yeah.. lack of exercise... Luckily I dodn't develop any phobias for bicycles... Don't think I grew much darker even though the sun was blazing...

Somehow, I think it's gonna rain during CNY... as it has been almost every year. Why? Cause the sky was threatening to rain the last 2 days.. but somehow, the blazing sun will always shine through... So if it rains during CNY, remember, you read it here first!

Shall go clean my wounds and then go sleep... I'm super tired... Making a trip to East Coast tmr again... If I can wake up earlier tmr, I can squeeze in some time for studying democracy. after that, I 'll be trying out how to do my pringles can.... Wish me luck... Do or die.. 1 more week to presentation!

Another stone for me to trip over... Can't believe I'm looking at the outing stuff barely 7 hours after I stopped last night... nvm.. happier times are in sight... Going out later...

You Are a Peacemaker Soul

You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can.War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace.You are a good mediator and a true negotiator.Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy. While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental.You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take.On the flip side, you've got a great sense of humor and wit.You're always dimplomatic and able to give good advice. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Made a stupid mistake today!!! Shouldn't have been too anxious to send out the email... Now it's gonna be quite stupid if I gotta retraqct it.. Ah well.. Gillian.. sth on the learning curve... Shit! Why did Sentosa do away with their big and nice chalet? Those 12 beds-2 bedroom kind... Now we are stuck with a room for 2 persons max according to costa sands website.. totally don't make sense.. can I just spend the night by the beach, watching the stars?

Super stressed this week with the outing... Time's running out! ack! Really appreciate the help that Renjie, Meiju and Baoqin gave... Don't know what I'll do without you all.. Serious... Now.. need to straighten out the arrangements... Hahaha...

Bleahz.. it's gonna be another of those nights.. whereby I'll toss and turn cause I can't get the thoughts out of my head... It's late.. almost 4.10... And I've been doing work.. as in more official stuff since 4 hours ago.. Winz... A lot of re-shuffling, strategies and stuff... urgh! Not very friendly...

I'm super messed up now.. Why Sentosa and not East Coast? I also don't know... WHY??? HELP!!! I need to take a breather... Going cycling tomorrow... I need it...

On a happier note.. spoke to a fren... just enjoyed the conversation whining, bitching, complaining... and basically just talking to her though the connection over Skype was kinda bad.. hahaha...

I'm kind of pissed.. I'm supposed to have a project meeting now.. but a lot of people haven't done their research yet... Sheeeeeetttttt lar... I hate it when people in your groups don't coorperate... As in this wasn't like a last min thing... areas were assigned like 2 WEEKS ago!!! You mean everyone is so busy that they don't have time to do research? What about ppl like me who stayed up to compile then (Ok.. i was also playing games.. but I don't think that is the point!) Excuses like Internet was down.. things like that... Gets on my nerves sometimes.. plus I'm sleepy and hungry now...

I hate in when I'm in a group when the people are like super off... And i feel like i'm in 2 of it now... Sianz...

I've been in a 'Stress Gillian out' mood the last few days.. putting pressure on myself to study demo, social psych cause I realised I haven't touched anything since start of school... Superb! I'm trying to turn myself from Slacker to Mugger in 1 sec flat.. which obviously doesn't work cause I'm bloggign instead of studying despite the fact that I have readings to do, AS homework to attempt, it is 12.30 am at night and I have 830 lessons tmr... Sheesh! I need to get my priorities right!

I'm starting to put pressure on myself cause I realise my mid terms are coming. Maybe doing decently well last term has made me mor ecomplacent... I wasn't that hardworking last term.. but at least I understand what is going on. This term, I feel like I'm just floating from class to class, lesson to lesson, not absorbing much. Maybe it is because I don't really like what I'm doing this term. Or I haven't grew to like it.

Did some quick research for democracy tmr so that Iwon't be like a dumb idiot when we talk about electoral systems.. I actually think it is interesting... Yeah.. i think I'm kinda nuts.. but if I have the time to read them and go thruough them carefully, I think it can be interesting... I need to do less stupid things online and actually do work!

I stayed in sch till 9 today... CT project stretched ALL the way from 1 to 6. and we still haven't gotten the container done... sucks leh... but I still like our idea... Yeah... trying not to admit defeat here... Sighz.. after all the hard work put in, 80% completed, the last 20% had to screw up... hahaha... Tomorrow will be a better day.

Bogged down by the planning of social science outing too.. Don't exactly regret taking it up.. but it is hard to coordinate 5 persons... So it sucks.. but I think today's meeting was quite productive... I just hope things will go as planned.. after all, it is the 1st 'big' even to be organised by SSS... I think I'm just killing myself slowly... On week 7, I have CT presentation, Democracy test, Social Psych test and the outing is on the Sat that week... This is just so wonderful!!1

Ahhh!!! I have 5 days next week during CNY... Muggerhood.. here I come!!!

Oh... I'm going to get the result of the MAPP Personality test I took 2 weeks ago tomorrow... Kinda excited.. though I'm too tired to feel it now...

Shall try and understand a bit more democracy.. then it is going off to dreamland.... I shall do AS tmr during democracy... Mwahahaha....

No I think I am super bo liaoz... hahaha.... It is like 445 am!!! and I was like photo blogging pictures of my nice room.. I must be insane!!! Oh well.. better do it now that I got the mood or else I'll procrastinate and never post them up.. Mwahahaha... Oh.. and I put them in chronological order.. so you can just scroll down and read instead of scolling up. or rather, the latest entry is what happened first...

Now, my room is a nice hue of morning glory.. which is like kinda beige... Mwahahaha... Okiez.. that's all for now... If I'm in the mood, I'll take pics of my room now... if not.. then too bad...

My nice display cupboard... yes.. everything had to be packed up... 

And a picture of my messy table while I was packing... 

After like packing for eons... The table was almost cleared... and most of the cupboards were empty... 

Another empty cupboard!!! Where did everything go???

I put some of my stuff into a big box...  

And all my soft toys into a big bag...

Hahaha.... sort of shoved quite a lot of things into the cupboards... See my Kamien is lying at the bottom together with my Music dictionary and AB guides... Mwahahaha.. Haven't touched it in a long long time... As for those I could not hide, I moved them into the living room.. and so.. erm.... 

This created a mess in the living room!!! 

I'm super tired... spent today and yesterday packing my room... Bleahz...

No time to do readings or any work.. shall do sth tmr now that everything is back in place... Shall now entertain you all with photos of me clearing my room a few days ago... =)

This is a pic I took when I watched the Singapor evs Indonesia final @ the National Stidium... Bleahz.. Lousy Camera... maximum zoom and the players look so blurred... 

My room is freaking tidy.. and clean and neat...

ShaLL post pics up soon... Of the long, ardous task of pakcing my stuff, clearing my room of bits and pieces.. and the mess I made out of the living room.. Mwahahaha... All in a bid to get my room a nice new coat of paint.. the process of which I was totally not involved cause I stayed in school trying to study democracy... (Note: trying is the keyword.. as usual)

so... my room is now spick and span with the cupboards empty, waiting for me to fill it up.. and i got a whole new layout.. as in the furnitures were rearranged... hahahah...

Hmmmm.. Just an observation... In the past, when I wanted to go out, I would ask, "Mummy, Can I go out today?"... Den my mum may come with a barrage of question like who and where I'll be going... Now, I just go.. "Mum, I'm going out later" or "I'll be going out on Sat... and I just go out...

Mwahahaha... Times have changed...

I saw Taufik and Sylvester!!! ok.. big deal.. so did like a hundred other people at SMU.... Hmmm.. paying them so much just to come here and belt out 3 songs each... Ok lar... wasn't that bad... as in I still think Taufik can sing... as for Sly, I think he has to like increase his repetoire... He sang 安静, It's my Life and He's ain't Heavy, He's my Brother... It wasn't tt bad... but ok lar... Taufik sang Me and Mrs Jones, Superstition and of course, I Dream... I think Taufik's a better performer than Sly.. but Sly seemed mor efriendly.. as in he bothered to get down and shake hands with screaming girls @ the front of the stage... (Nope.. I wasn't there...) whilst Taufik came on with shades and stuff...

however, I think it is still a waste of money.. In fact, a lot of things about Patron's Day is like 'for show' kind... I dun think that many students stayed back... A lot of people were involved... but the crowd was ok.. Not like super packed or sth... Others would rather stay at home on their free day or leave after lesosns...

Like how many people actually walked around the booths? Those who came for our lucky dip is like our own people and friends and the occassional strangers... Hmmmm... But it was also the first time I stood so close to President Nathan lar... Hmmm.. not more than half a metre...

Oh.. went Adam Road Hawker Centre and I saw Stephanie Sun... She is really really very skinny... and she is so small size... And she looked quite plain... so couldn't really recognise her...

Today's patron's day!!! yay!!!

The School is buzzing with activities, setting up of booths, big tents, and loads of food!!! Mwahahaha... Me? I'm stuck in gsr (groups study room) trying to do some research for a meeting that is gonna take place in half an hour's time.. will miss the beginning but I do hope the meeting ends early enough so that I can join in the activities later... Mwahahaha...

went for my cousin's wedding dinner yesterday... Food was not bad though it was my 1st wedding dinner in like years... Yeah... and I bet there is a longer waiting time for the next one.. cause the rest of the cousins on my father's side is like my age or younger and studying... and I doubt we'll get married tt early.. Mwahahahaa...

Hmmmm... I'm slacking my time awaaaaay... So much reading to catch up on...

Ok... my project mates will think I'm a crazy nut who wake up at the crack of dawn to reply their emails... Mwahahaha....

School Fees have gone up!!! I think I need to get a job... an increment of $850 is quite a lot... Well, just to dispel the 'myth' that SMU undergrads are rejects from NTU or/and NUS... they have decided to charge what a premium university charges...

Ya... premium with rather useless lessons... which has assigment topics like "My Sky is in My Heart". And with profs which uses their lessons as an opportunity for their frens with extreme views to air them... it certainly provokes thinking... Hmmmm... Creativity!

Hmmm... now to shift your attention to another (of my favourite) sport.. Tennis! The Australian Open, one of the 4 Grand Slams of the tennis season started today... However, defending Australian Open Champion, Belgian Justine Henin-Hardenne, a player whom I think is damn cool is not playing due to some injury...

Hahaha... nth much lar.. just looking at the live scores now... I feel that tennis is such a game that can be so unpredictable. Like players who are seeded ( ie: Players who are ranked the top 32 in the tournament based on points they received from each tournament) can be eliminated in the early rounds of the match by lessor-known opponents...

Hmmm.. watched the Singapore vs. Indonesia match live at Kallang Stadium yesterday... It was painted in red with only a small portion reserved for the white-wearing Indonesian fans... But then again, because the flags of the 2 countries are so similar, I mean you would be supporting either side if you wear red or white... Hahaha...

Anyway, shouted till my voice is kinda hoarse today, aggravating a cough I had since yesterday.. But it was fun.. Like not heart-stopping excitement or sth.. given that Singapore had like a 2 goal lead going into the final leg so if they lost it, it was like a major screw-up! I think I feel more excitement watching a Manchester United vs. Chelsea match or sth... but then again, last night was as close as I could get to any major soccer match! The bad thing about watching a match live is that there are no replays.. so if you missed the goal, well, you missed it! Heh! and there was no commentators... and since I didn't know who was who except for Agu Casmir simply because of his hair colour, I had no idea who was passing the ball to who. Hahaha.. I gotta admit I think I watched too many EPL matched... until I can sort of identify players from certain teams just be looking at their numbers or from their profile... Anyway, the Kallang wave was good... but quite out of point since you can't watch the action when the wave goes on... and because I was seating rather near the Indonesian fans, there were a few instances whereby Singaporeans were standing on the seats cause sth happened... Oh.. and not to mention spectators who think they know everything and they can play better than the players... criticizing and giving comments. What I didn't like was the fact that Singaporeans boo-ed whenever Indonesia's name was mentioned like when the starting XI was called and stuff like that.. Please show some graciousness. Or maybe it is due to the 'rivalry' before the match. However, all was over after the match when Indonesians recieved their medals to thundarous applause... :)

Hmmm.. so finally sth to show that Singapore soccer is not dead yet...

Hmmmm.. I feel as if I am going to move house... What I did today was to pack stuff from my cupboard into a big big box... What were they??? Hmmm... letters, yearbooks, my autograph book.. yes.. the one from Primary School whereby people write 'nice' stuff and particulars and stuff.. Gee... I dun think I've kept in touch with any of them... hahahaha... I dunno.. and a lot of rubbish.. Programmes from most concerts I've attended... Photos of all sorts.. Thailand, Prague, Crap photos.. and loads of letters... :)

Nope.. I'm not moving house.. but my room's gonna get a new coat of paint... hence the packing and stuff... and yeah.. a bit of re-arranging of furnitures and stuff.. my sister got sick of sleeping on the floor... she wants to upgrade to the 2nd level (ie: a double decker bed!) Mwahahaha... but I bet it'll be be another 2 or 3 weeks before everything is settled... So meanwhile, my cupboards are empty but the table is as messy as ever.. hiakz...

I feel my life is kinda void.. No.. I dun exactly need a guy.. but just that my blog is nth but work related... Like hellos? Anything more interesting thing about me???

This term has started off at a very fast pace.. I still feel as if I am like running for the bus.. or even a train... It is not that I don't understand my lessons.. but I just don't bother to do the extra readings, notes, research which I think I should do. I'm just gonna leave everthing as it is and panic when exams/tests comes.. Great! *rolls eyes*

actually I feel quite slack this weekend... Though I'm positivly sure I will have loads of things to do when I get down to counting it... Why not start now?

1) Read up on Sical Psychology. My prof's at chapter 2 or 3.. and I'm still stuck at maybe the foreword..

2) I have a BGS individual assignment that takes up 15% of my grade due next Thursday.. Now, shouldn't I like read the chapter to find out more of what it is about?

3) I should really read through my Analytical Skills book instead of just skimming through and deluding myself that I know what it is talking about because I DON'T!!!

4) Yeah.. read up about constitutions in the World for Democracy...

Throw in a soccer match on Sunday... but balance it with a supposedly free day tmr except for a meeting.. I think I can afford to slack tonight away except that it feels exceptionally weird... Like exceptionally free...

I've been rotting in school for the past 2 hours... waiting for some talk to start at 5.30.. which means I have to go soon... Ok... i admit... I judge ppl too easily and on too frivolous things... Had a meeting with my project grp today... It wasn't as bad as I thought.... and yeah.. I hope we can work together... Mwahahaha...

My Democracy prof speaks greek!!! HELp!!!!!!! I'm seriously having trouble understanding him.. and I dun think he has a good impression of the class.. or else he is just in a bad mood today...

So many things to blog about, so little time.. and everything's stuck... It's the 2nd week of school only.. yet I feel that I have been laden with so much to do... Bleahz...

Lemme see... I need to go read up on BGS, Social Psych and do my AS homework... after my talk which ends @ 6.30... so I bet I'll just go home and rot somemore on my laptop... Mwahahaha... and yeah... wad was I doing the past 2 hours I was rotting while waiting for my talk? I was... err.. on MSN... playing stupid games... and i dunno wad else... stoning i guess...

8.30 lessons tmr.. I should go sleep soon... I finally dropped CAT... I finally found a bag I like... I may go get it... or maybe get 2... Mwahahaha.. I'm greedy...

I should go sleep soon... but I think I'll just hang online till 12.. then tmr I can't get up.. Great... I need to bathe too! Cya soon world...

Tmr I'll be home early too... I lurve school (not)!

I change my layout.. or rather, just the picture since Christmas is over.. and since I have no idea what to put there, I decided that I will indulge you readers with the view of the Chocolate Fudge Cake i baked over the hols... Mwahaha...

First week of school came and went... countdown: 13 more weeks... Time flies so it'll be over before I know it... Great~!~

This reminds me I gotta change my blog layout cause it is out of point.. .Christmas'04 was over yesterday.. Yeah... after the 12 days...

Well, we are assigned our projects for the various modules... My groupings are generally ok except for one whereby there are ppl with not-so-nice histories... But then again, it's good to be drawn out of my comfort zone and experiment working with them... I seriously dun mind giving everyone a chance... :) ya right.. lame consolation... *wink*

I finally dropped CAT.. after like 1 mth plus of agonizing over it... and simply cause I've decided to be more active in some other projects... and I dun think I can cope.. Simple. Short. Sweet.

And so, On my first ever free day since I started uni, I woke up late... at about 11.. which I consder a luxury since I'm up before 9 the previous 4 days... and I just so wanted to nua at home... and after lunch, I went to fix my phone's keypad before the warrenty expired... The Nokia Care Centre at Wheelock is freaking packed!!! Bleahz.. I waited 1 and a half hours for my turn to 'complain' about my phone, and 2 hours for them to repair my phone.. At least I got it back on the same they... They should open more counters or sth.... Or maybe it is because I went after lunch.. there were like 46 ppl ahead of me in the queue?

So I went shopping... Borders, Topshop, S&K... and I got depressed... Can't find clothes I like... or those tt look good on me... sianz... and here I am, back home, blogging... I need more clothes.. and I wanna go Bugis and look at bags...

I'm in the midst of my first CAT class... It is all about excel and nth else.. The first lesson kinda boring cause he's teaching the damn basics of basics of excel like adding in toolbars and other things... but the module is not as easy as it seems.. dreading the formulas and modelling and whatever stuff tt I can't recognise... Bah!!! But no choice.. it is not a core module... I just hope they won't announce next term that it is NOT compulsary for social science students... I'll just KILL myself...

Yawn.. better pay attention.. he seems to be going on to more interesting things...

But the good thing is I can surf the net and do a lot of crap stuff legitimately as long as I don't lose him or he doesn't lose me midway... =)

I walked out to the bus stop and I realised sth... I'll be turning 20 this year!!! Ok... and so will most of the people reading this blog.. but that's not the point!!! Ok.. I dunno wad's the point... nvm....

reformatted my com... din feel any sadness at all.. but now there is a slight hitch... I can't seem to get all the IBM stuff... Like when I adjust the brightness or volume, the level does not appear on the screen.. Looks like I gotta make another trip down to the computer helpdesk tmr... Afterall, I haf like the afternoon free... But i got Office 2003 which looks quite cool... Hahaha... I shall resolve not to load too many things (read: games) into my laptop...

8.30 lesson tmr... shall sleep early and not be late and not take a cab...

I think there should be a rule that prohibit the hosts of Charity Shows to speak when artistes are doing some death-defying stunt cause I think it disrupts their concentration... I'm not exactly interested in their chattering about making calls to the donation lines and the number of opportunities in the lucky draw. I kinda dislikes these charity shows that dangles lucky draw prizes for people who donate cause I believe that donations come from the heart. The way they put it is 'Please donate so you can win a prize or get some discount coupon'. And their commercials run along the line of: "I donated and I'm the lucky recipient of a new car, or a windfall". Like do we always expect sth in return when we give.

Ok.. what a post to start off the new year. But I was just watching the tape of the "Affairs of the Heart' charity show and I really couldn't stand the hosts chattering when Tay Ping Hui was trying to walk the tightrope backwards in heels... Like just shut up lar... they went on and on about how many more minutes left before the chance to win $10K in cash is gone...

Okiez... The past year has been full of ups and down. I learnt a lot about myself which i think is good and becoming half-financially independent is quite a good thing but there are the many tragedies that happen on a large scale basis like the tsunamis and stuff... but then again, Life still goes on... I still gotta wake up early for school tmr... blah blah blah.. but i think you can really see the world kinda united for once, sending help, people of different races, different countries making donations to the affected countries... It brings people together... But then we mourn for the hundreds of thousand of lives lost. Family who got seperated, children orphaned.
I mean it's a weird thing to happen to 'usher in the new year'.

Other than that, I gotta switch myself to mugger-project-mode. See all smu-ers in school by next week... the only thing I'll be looking forward to is maybe the end of Thursday every week and no project meetings on Friday... Hahaha...