I walked into a 830 am class at 9 am last Friday! Bah.. I totally didn't hear my alarm go off at all... and I jumped out of bed at 8.40... Luckily my dad was home to give me a ride down to school, thus incurring i-dunno-how-much worth of ERP. Surcharges i nthe morning is damn ex espeicially when your school is in town. Luckily I didn't take a cab. (or maybe I couldn't even find one if I wanted to since it was PEAK period - think of the $2 morning surcharge plus i dunno... 2 plus 3 for ERP. It has to be as ex as my cab ride!)
Anyway, had a packed weekend... Let's start off with Fri... or maybe Thurs... or maybe Wed... Bleahz! My days all gel into one another so much that I can't seem to differentiate them. I feel as if I'm having like full days... Cause my classes are usually at 12, and then I'll stay in school till late.. like 9 plus 10. Wlecome to my life~!~
Sat.. had to wake up bright and early in the morning to go bowling with kids from Gracehaven - a Salvation army home on a Rotaract community service event. It was (for lack of a better word) - eye-opening. I didn't know how to react to the kids there. They look so young, yet they are there for a reason.
I see a future in those girls and really wanna help them, but I'm afraid to commit to the cause.
I want to spend more time with them, get to know them yet am afraid of building long-term and stronger bonds.
Am i cut out to 'counsel' them? Is that what I want for my future job? To help people move on in society? Then again, am I that '伟大'? It is something that one does not get paid a lot, not much recognition, but a job that will bring about much satisfaction?
What about job prestige? Salary and the likes? Do I have such a 'caring' persona or issit just a done on a whim, a spur of the moment thing because of what I saw on Sat?
Anyway, went for Be*Dazzled, the acapella concert at night. Cool! Really really makes me feel like performing again. and well, Juz B was there... with screaming teenage fans... :) made me feel like I'm in a SuperBand recording or sth... Going for concerts just makes me realise how much I miss performing on stage. Now, even if I want to, I'm also not sure what I can do, how I do it.
And this is what makes choosing a certain path in life so scary. It's an unknown risk cause different paths leads ot different outcomes. And this is what makes my decision to do on exchange even scarier. What doors does this exchange open up for me? and what have I given up for it?
ponder ponder... check back this blog in 10 years time and maybe you'll find the answer...
