Happy New Year!!! Ok.. my new year greetings always comes a bit later than the 1st Jan.

I was just looking through my archives... I've been blogging for 4 and a half years. That's quite a lot of things to say. From the 2nd half of my JC years to now, when I'm entering my last sem at Uni.

Well.. wishes for the new year...

• I guess to be more focussed - work on my thesis and the last 3 modules of my undergrad life
• To find a job - hoping, wishing, maybe an overseas posting? More importantly though, I hope it is work that I enjoy and in a company where I will be given opportunities to grow.
• To better appreciate and love the people around me - family, friends.
• Try not to procrastinate too much...

And now... looking back at 2007 so that I can draw a close to the year...

Having spent almost 5 months out of Singapore, I guess the highlight of the year would be my exchange to Switzerland... Looking at these pics of gorgeous scenary never fails to make me smile... :)

Bellinzona - in the Italian-speaking part of Switzerland.

Rheinfalls

Interlaken, Switzerland

And then, there's the thrill of working on my senior thesis albeit all the hard work. Getting approval, working out the kinks and details... another sem to slog it out...

My recent trip to Hongkong with Siyi and Ade, meeting Mabel there and meeting up with Sea and Charlotte, friends I met on exchange. Heh... Watching Jay Chou which set me off on a mini Jay Chou craze...

And I think more importantly, having quite a bit of 'me-time' for December. So apologies if I seem anti-social and stuff. First, I got a handphone that loses my smses and can't msg very well. But I had time to recharge and slack... A wonderful Christmas and New Year.

And now.. onward to a New Year! I just have to settle that dratted IRB application... heh...

This sem has been trying
and i'm not winning.
No matter how well I do,
I'll still lose.

I spent less time laughing this sem
I spent more time fretting this sem.
Sometimes, I don't know myself anymore.
What I want. Why i do certain things. How I escape.

I run when things don't go well
I disappear.
At the end of the day,
does it matter so much?

Thanks to those who have been by me
I've been a pretty whiney bitch all sem I know.
Just too caught up with things,
I wish I could change.

Would I exchange all that I achieve,
for times better spent?
Maybe if I could,
I would spend more time with you, you and you.

It's not too late. I hope.

How often do we lose sight of the world around us. To know how to count our blessings and not bother ourselves to much with the extra stuff in life?

I question my mindset on job search, on life.. and yet, I find myself slipping into it oh-so-often. Since when do I take time to count my blessings. For having been able to live my dream, for a superb family, wonderful and supportive friends who have been with me through ups and downs. Compared to the less fortunate, less privileged, I am a hundred times or even mroe better off than them.

Things like GPA looms so big at times - worrying about grades, being worried after not doing well and making a fuss about it. But when you look at the big picture, it is just something small and really not that significant.

Maybe it's time to take a step backwards and see the world as it is meant to be seen. Can I do it?

I had a hair cut today... and did something I never really thought I would do - I highlighted my hair reddish using my natural colour as the base. Turned out quite well I think. Now my hair has this purply/maroon hue to it. So yeah... Quite happy with the job and I think the stylist who cut my hair was pretty good. All thanks to Yuanshan for her recommendation.

Other than that, it's been hanging out with the SN gals - from visiting our alma mater where we met 10 years ago, savouring orange bowl noodles whilst reminiscing about the good ol'days, to dinner and chilling out at Wala Wala, plus going for a hair job today. Nice!

Yeah... must make use of the time before Mabel goes off for her exchange to HK in 2 weeks. Its interesting how at least one of us SMU-ers have been missing at least once a sem for 3 consecutive sems due to exchange. And Shwen is back! So it's more hanging out to compensate for the soon-to-be one year absence as she heads back for her 4th year of study. Ade!!! Come back soon!

Need to ration out my chilling out time and to take out some time for work as I still have outstanding stuff to settle. It is time to get back to school mode, seeing how the NUS-ers and NTU-ers have started school liao.

So many things to settle in the new acad year. I think I booked myself onto an unforgettable ride. I just hope it is not the wrong decision. 2CUs, thesis, oral defense. These are scary words. To come up with and execute my own research project... Oh well... nothing is impossible after all.

Plus, I'm still deciding if I should carry on with the HR Training and Development module I got, or take on Finance just to learn more. If I do Finance, should I ask if I can audit the class or just bid for it outright? I'm not sure how Finance (or T&D) + 2 psych mods will work out in the midst of thesis preparation. But 2 psych mods seems very little. Haiz... decisions... Maybe I should just ditch the Finance idea...

On a side note, HK's still beckoning at the end of the year, which is good!

Homecoming! Just a few more days... 3 to be exact.

It sure doesn't feel like 4.5 months have passed. Time really flies. And in the process, I have learnt so much more about myself, gained so many intangible experiences that it is overwhelming.

Before coming on exchange, I always wanted the opportunity to be able to work overseas. This goal hasn't really changed much, yet, I will be much better prepared for what comes my way if it ever happens. Adapting to and thriving in a new environment is fine. But at the same time, I really miss my family and friends. The ease and conforts of familiarity.

After coming over, I realised how small Singapore is. But at the same time, I do appreciate it for being small because it is so much more convenient. I know I will miss St Gallen. My cosy room, the garden, Tara and the cats. I will miss taking long, scenic train rides around Switzerland or out of the country. But, another part of me can't wait to come home.

I never thought I'll say this, but I am tired of being away from home. This came after living out of my suitcase for exactly 3 weeks. It is fun. I enjoy walking the streets of Prague, Poland, whereever. Looking at stuff, appreciating other countries. But without a proper, comfortable bed, having to move around every couple of days, it does get exhausting.

Anyway, I think even my body is geared up for returning to Singapore. I'm waking up early these couple of days (think 8 am) when in the past, I would sleep till 11. The power of psychology?

I went to Interlaken and then to Geneva over the last two days. And I finished the above book - The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards. It was a book I bought when I was in UK cause I was running out of reading options.

This was a book that lasted me up for more than 12 hours. 3 hours on the train to Interlaken, another 3 to 4 hours in the Interlaken hostel, another 2 from Interlaken to Geneva and 4 hours from Geneva back to St Gallen. Quite a feat I would say as I used to rush through my books in one sitting. But I just wanted to absorb all the details in the book...

It's a hauntingly beautiful and poignant book. After reading, my mind went into overgear, thinking about the message I got from the book and what I've learnt.

Synopsis:

In 1964, a pair of twins, one boy and one girl, were born to this couple, the husband being a doctor. The girl was born with Down Syndrome and so, he made the decision to send her to an institution, hiding the truth from his wife and son, telling them instead that she had died. The secret wedged its way into their lives as the family seeked solace in different things.

The twist: The nurse who was supposed to bring the girl to the institution brought her up instead. And so what happens? Would they get to meet? What happens after they meet? What does it mean to have Down Syndrome?

The doctor's decision that fateful night was what set the gears into motion and providing the key that turned the lock of Pandora's box, unleashing the events written in the story. The story examines how hard it is to keep a secret, how hard it is being the person the secret is kept from. Seeking answers, seeking acceptance, not knowing how fortunate one is.

Gosh.. I feel like I'm writing a book review for primary school but I really enjoyed this book...

Heh.. another good read would be The Time Traveller's Wife which I finished way earlier, but didn't think of writing a 'review' for it... Maybe later, maybe soon...

Life in Singapore seem so distant now. What do I do at home? What do I do on weekends? Definitely not vacuuming my floor, nor washing my clothes. I do not have to cook lunch or dinner, or worry about what to eat or if I have enough food to last me x days.

I take the bus/MRT around, but where do I go? To school? To town? What do I do in town? How do I manage to stay in school for 6 hours 5 days a week?

In truth, I'm a little scared of returning to Singapore. I'm sure things will go back to normal and I will adapt back to life there. I will survive, just like how I've survived venturing here. It's just that life in Switzerland has just become the norm now and I'm so comfortable with everything. . I lead my life the way I want it. Plan almost everything on my own and everything.

It's just like when you have experienced something good, it is hard to settled back into something not that ideal.

Oh sure.. I miss hanging out with friends, going for ktv sessions with the Gassy gals, chill out sessions with everyone. Dessert and gsr sessions with Meiju and Baoqin, having fun with Social science ppl. Playing games at Mind Cafe and stuff.

I miss crapping with my sis, chatting with my mum. Watching soccer with my dad and watching my brother play his mindless games. I miss curling up in my bed with a good book.

But when I think of what I actually do on a day to day basis in Singapore, I really don't have am amswer. Maybe it's because I was so used to life in Singapore before I came over.

Maybe it's too premature to think about what I will miss when I leave... but the thoughts do loom overwhelmingly when I realise I am almost halfway through my term. And now, time just seem to fly. I wake up, have breakfast, go to school, come back, prepare dinner, have dinner and then spend some time in front of the computer and voila, the day is gone.

Oh well... may tomorrow be a better day!

Having some kind of 'blogstipation' here... Topics pop out and then discarded, ideas drift in and out and I can't seem to string proper sentences together. This is going to be a rambling post, with loads of mished and mashed thoughts...

Watched the Korean movie, 200 pounds Beauty last week. Of plastic surgery and attaining beauty. Would only pretty girls find happiness? Do all men look at girls so shallowly? I think this is a pretty good movie. Do you lose yourself in the process of achieving something? Is beauty all that matters? The topics discussed in this movie is nothing new, but I do like how it is presented.

On another note, been here for almost 2 months. (2 more days to my 2nd month here). Happily settled in, loving life. Now, I am wishing my last 2 months here will be longer...

From balking at the price of groceries on my first day to just indifference and acceptance now.
Got use to walking almost everywhere.
Ich kann kochen (I can cook) - and pretty decently I must say. hahaha...
From travelling here with locals I barely know, to meeting new friends from other countries.

And more importantly, living a psuedo jet-setting lifestyle. I've been out almost every weekend since I've arrived. And out means out of the country or the small town I am in. I just think.. how much this would change when I go back to Singapore - I mean I don't even travel out of Singapore every year - not to mention every weekend!

Is there such a thing as over travelling?

Meanwhile, everyday, or every trip is a new experience.

My first week in St Gallen - surviving without my laptop adaptor, getting used to life here.
To Paris, I took my first night train, alone.
At Saentis, I experienced my first time on a snowcapped mountain.
To Munich, the uneasy feeling of walking around a concentration camp.
In Vienna, got back into a big city. A mix of magnificent historical buildings and a busy shopping street.
In Berlin, went for my first tennis tournament - seeing the big name stars upclose and a spat of fan-girling.


And in Switzerland, just the wonderful, wonderful scenary. I'm so going to miss the mountains and lakes - sights I would never fail to spot on a train ride.

I finally did it!

I booked tickets to watch the 3rd round of the Qatar Total Open - held in Berlin, Germany on 10th May...

Today's my one-month anniversary in der Schweiz. Hahaha.. from the emo, slightly homesick feeling I had in the first week, to the 'I dun wanna leave Europe' feeling now.

In the past one month,
I have experienced snow, and now, Spring where all the pretty flowers bloom.
I am used to taking walks to school/town and basically, getting around.
I think that taking one hour train rides is pretty normal. And they do seem rather short.
I took my first ever night train alone.
I drank quite a bit in the one month i was here... (more than what I would drink in a month in Singapore anyway) - a beer here, a (beer+sprite) there, red wine, white wine. Falling in love with white wine though. So far, the ones I had were pretty good...
I got from getting shocked at the prices of stuff here.. for it to turn to acceptance - or cheaper shopping across the border.
I am now cooking more meals on my own.

Being independent, making decisions like where to go for the weekend, whether I should go on certain trips, should I buy some stuff, or even what to cook.

Taking care of myself, making sure I don't end up in shit, making sure I don't fall sick.

It's tiring.. but also exactly like how I envisioned it.. meeting different people with different experiences. Knowing that how like almost half of the people I met, especially Europeans are pursuing a Masters.

Now, 3 more months seem so short...

Trying to post in multiple blogs is super-multi tasking... but there are so many things I want to tell the world at the same time - to different audience, about different things.

The survey which I was (kinda) slogging my ass off is out. I know it's long!!! But it's not my choice. Thank you to a dear friend, who is proud of my efforts and is excited for me, for my work. I really really appreciate it. It is something massive - for a project that hopes to involve all students in the school. and now, my 'baby' is finally out...

Anyway, picked up this from Char's blog... Me likes it! :)

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

It's been two and a half weeks.

You know you are settled when:

You start calling the room you live in 'home'.
You can walk to town, navigate the streets and get to your destination quite easily.
You feel fine walking up a hill and now take 15 minutes instead of the 25 minutes previously.
You stop referring to a map!

Definitely more settled in. Spring is here which makes it all the more better. It's still chilly at night, but it's fine in the day. The sun is up till quite late - like 8 pm?

Heh... I don't even mind 40 mins to 1 hour of cooking every night! Then there's the planning of my 'menu' in advance. What to cook, what would spoil soon, when to cook veggies or what kind of veggies to cook.

Trying to clear my perishables as I'll be in Paris from Wed night to Mon... Then the whole grocery shoppign process begins again... :)

Heh... It's one week since I've been here... Yet.. I sometimes feel like I've been here far longer than that. Sometimes, I can't wait to leave cause I'm missing you all back home, but other times, I just think that 'gosh... I'll be here for only 3 more months'. I'm like a pro liao.. shopping at Migros, the grocery store here... walking to town, walking home from school. Even prepping dinner or packing bread for school

Like I told some friends, I think i'll walk more in these 3.5 months here than in the past year back in Singapore. Like a 20 mins walk to school is normal for me.. Hahaha... I guess i'm really spoilt in Singapore.

Sigh man... I'm still missing home... Ok.. I think it's normal. But sometimes, its quite shitty that I would just tear up when I read my sister's email me or when I think of home or my mum, dad and bro. This is especially when I'm all alone or sth... HOW?

Thank goodness I stay connected via the internet... but the thing is it still feels different. Plus I'm not staying with the other Singaporeans, or have like other exchange people that I can talk to. Maybe I'm just not that emotionally strong.

German classes for 3 days already. It's not too bad. I think I'll continue with the course during term time... But 830 class is like hell... Wahahahs...

A nice day out sharing, sitting, chilling, laughing, photo-whoring, eating, eating and eating! Oh... not to mention being fangirls and going gaga over Shinhwa...

Royalties, I heart you two!

Yesterday was such a lovey dovey day.

Couples, roses everywhere. But why does this happen only on vday? A commercially celebrated day? But nevertheless, still a day for people to feel loved and appreciated.

Me? Still a member of the Lonely Hearts Club. But hah! Went for a good lunch and wonderful dessert. Got my Jim Brickman CD which was aptly titled 'Valentine'. Came home and listened to it. Hah! Who said singles can't have fun?

And yet, conflicting thoughts... When will I become part of a lovey dovey couple? My mantra has always been 'Let Nature take its own course', 'It is a 2 person thing, no point if it is not reciprocated'. Honestly, I'm quite happy being single (unless the air gets filled with too much saccharine sweetness...) Having no one to answer to, no need to fit someone into my life or change my life for anyone.

It's not that I dun believe in what I preach. But sometimes, especially during times like this, I do look around wistfully and wonder, when will it be my turn? How long can I go on being happily single? Why can't there be someone? But I believe in finding the right apple. Maybe not that big, red, shiny juicy all-in-one apple, but at least one with some semblance.

To all who have found their halves, may you fall deeper in love with each other, and have many many more wonderful memories.

To all singles... may the right one come along. soon.

Ever had the feeling that when you see something, sometimes, you would think 'oh.. it's perfect for so and so' or that 'this suits whoever'. But how often is that 'someone' your mum, your dad or even your siblings?

That hit me real hard today when my dad and I were thinking of what to get my mum for her bday. How much do we know about our own family members?

Packing my room is like bringing me a trip down memory lane... (ok... not that long ago... but still...)

Ojects of notable mention are:

The farewell note that 校长 gave us when she retired in 2000. In it, she talked about her journey as Principal of St Nicks. Reading it brings back memories of her calling us 宝贝 and her treats, and her announcements to 多多喝水. It even has a note telling us her rationale for giving us the farewell gifts - a bag, watch, water bottle and scarf. Heh.. I have no idea where my water bottle went.

Then there is my VJ carolling scores. I got them at the end of Sec 4. (2001) when I joined them for carolling. What followed was 4 years plus of carolling with them. Plus wonderful memories of putting up concerts (2 SOVs plus a couple others) and of course taking part in SYF where I performed on Esplanade stage. (Hey! At least I could say I did that!), not to forget a trip to Prague. Alas.. won't be going for Symphony of Voices this yr as I am going to be in faraway Switz.

Also, there is the box of brochures which I brought back from Australia in 2003 because I wanted to do some sort of s scrap book... that never took off...

Then the notebook I got from freshmen orientation 2004 when I first entered SMU plus old copies of the school magazine, Blurt, which talked about the move to the city campus and stuff...

Oh.. and I still have my f. maths TYS. Maybe to serve as a reminder that I once could solve those complicated and questions

just sat in for class today. Cultural psychology! Heavy heavy readings, but at least they are interesting!

But again, I ended up doing other random stuff in class with my laptop on. Not paying 100% attention. Well, at least 50% of the things went in i guess. Not in the swing of things with the 4 or 5 mods a sem work load. Just throttling along on my slow engine.

I shall resolve to do my readings and pay more attention in class next week. :)