Oh well... everything is out.. it's 1 day after the heartache.. Oh well.. won't really call it a heartache.. just my stupid pride getting in the way i suppose.. i'm perfectly satisfied with my results and should be.. but ya... just that 75% of my school did better than me... I mean like *ouch*! but shall not whine much here.. after all, i did expect sth like it.. and i was quite surprised i took it quite calmly.. when i saw my name 4th from the bottom of my class list... and learning that so and so got 3 As or 4As.. I mean i did expect them to get that sort of results... and ya.. I know i did not put in as much effort as them and whatever... so i should not be complaining. But there's just this niggling pain when you hear ppl around you whom you know doing extremely well...

Hahaa.. sth funny happened.. my mum called my dad to tell him my results and he tot i got 1A and 3Ds... Hiakz.. miscommunication! And ya.. my econs tutor actually predicted I'll get an 'A' for econs.. I think she's nuts.. I've barely been doing well.. just 1 essay to change her opinion of me.. Hmmm... not bad huh....

It's hard.. did not feel like crying then.. but now, maybe reality has just sunk in.. still dun feel like crying, but taking it more personal now.. I suppose maybe it has to do with having a smart sibling. Not that ppl are comparing and i know i shuldn't feel this way.. he has been nice to me and stuff.. but it's like I'm doing 'consistently morderately well' while he has been doing 'consistently very well'... ya.. and I'm quoting my mum.. who quoted my aunt... I mean ya.. I know that I'm not that good... but sometimes, things doesn't have to be so obvious.. I mean I hate being like the 2nd fiddle sometimes... or even if I am, you dun have to be so obvious abt it...

And I'm sore bout my GP grades.. not that i din expect it.. in fact, scared I'll fail cause ya, my GP has most of the time been hovering at the brink of a pass or fail... but it can also be quite erratic.. like doing decently well.. was hoping for a B.. but ya. just wasn't mean to be.. and like maybe the feeling of letting down my tutors and ppl around me who had higher expectations of me.. Ya.. ego and pride again...

Ok... enough of whining... but just some innermost feelings... I mean ya... just trying to get over it.. and ya.. I will zi1 zu2 chang2 le4.. I mean like maybe cause of the bloody school I'm in.. so just feeling a little off... should really count my blessings cause ya... my grades are very decent and I think i did better than some ppl who expected more and put in more effort... but just in a way pissed with myself for maybe slacking too much in year 1... but all the same, i had a good 2 years in jc.. really enjoyed myself a lot and learnt a lot.. so ya... as for future path, hahaha.. contemplating to turn into a mugger... just to do well and prove myself.. but can i really??? and a bit too late right??

Hahaha... SMU, NUS or NTU??? preferably SMU... but now it is all up to luck cause i went for the interview liaoz... den NTU is too bloody far.. and i really have no idea what course to take.. I mean the only thing I think I'm interested in is psychology... but ya.. note the words in bold.. I mean i would like doing maths... but a bit impractical.. and my physics tutor feels that i should go into engineering.. but my mum thinks I'm not cut out for it though I dun mind trying it.. If i noe what the job scope entails.. but at the same time, i like meeting ppl and stuff... and ya... talking...